Stuck in the Man Box

In the early 1980s Paul Kivel and others at the Oakland Men's Project developed a paper and pencil exercise which illustrated gender expectations by drawing "Act Like a Man" and "Act Like a Lady" boxes. Workshop students responded to open-ended statements in each box and outlined how they believed men and women should act. For some years this "act like a man box" exercise was used in various men's programs.

In the mid 1990s, Tony Porter who at the time was leading men's programs in New York State, adopted the phrase but shortened it to "man box." Porter would go on to found A Call to Men, an organization that offers trainings and educational resources to inspire "the next generation of manhood." Then in 2010, Porter would drive the "man box" concept into global popular awareness with his TED talk titled A Call to Men. 

One more touch point in the men's movement toward enlightened masculinity is a 2016 study of young men's attitudes in the United States, United Kingdom and Mexico appropriately titled "The Man Box." A joint project of Promundo and Unilever/Axe, respondents were surveyed regarding their experiences as men, their views on how men should act, society's norms for male behavior, and whether they themselves conform to these norms. The researchers conclude that the Man Box is "alive and well, [and] it has immediate, sometimes contradictory, and often harmful effects on young men and on those around them."

What's in the Man Box? The Promundo-Unilever/Axe study outlined seven pillars or key elements:

1. Self-sufficiency: never ask others for help
2. Acting tough: fight back when someone pushes you around
3. Physical attractiveness: men must look good, but not spend too much time doing it
4. Rigid masculine gender roles: men should avoid housework, and be the main providers for their families
5. Heterosexuality and homophobia: gay guys are not real men
6. Hypersexuality: real men should have many sexual partners
7. Aggression and control: men should use violence to gain respect, and always have the final say in their relationships or marriages

So have we overcome the man box? Has enlightened masculinity won the day? Unfortunately the answer is a qualified "no." While it is true that some attitudes have changed, and some men have broken free of the man box, the vast majority remain stuck. Keep in mind that the man box restraints are maintained by the culture at large, not by any one individual. In a coming post, we will look into promising work performed in response to the #MeToo movement and fourth-wave feminism.